A lot of people struggle with approaching someone they don't know. Especially if the expectations are high. This would be the case if someone approaches another person for emotional reasons, dating, getting the phone number etc. But it also happens when someone approaches someone else for business reasons. The processes and the patterns happening within their heads are the same. The process consists of 8 steps: The idea The thought process The strategy The motivation The body

If you want to be heard, start off with an open mind. If you want to be seen, start off by opening your eyes. Sometimes I walk through town and see so many people walking around minding their own business, buried deep in their own minds. Their body language reflects that by closing down for everyone else. Some of them might be looking at their phones, lots of them with some kind of headphones covering every surrounding sound from their ears. I’m not saying this is bad in gene

Our brain is an interesting tool, it reacts to the thoughts we create. When we have negative thoughts, it creates a negative mindset. When we have positive thoughts, it creates positive feelings and we act accordingly. We cannot control our thoughts, they will happen. But we can control our reaction to whatever happens around us. How many times have we encountered difficulties, losses, rejections, defeats….all these moments that have the power to pull us down. I would like to

I came across a native American parable from the Cherokees, I had already heard long time ago. It totally resonated with me as I just gave a webinar about turning negative into positive self-talk the other day. We had an inspiring chat with the attendees afterwards, about what causes negativity, fear and anger and how to change it. The parable is the old story about the two wolves. It goes like this: An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on in

Today on June 1st the world is celebrating say-something-nice-day. It is one of these special days nobody really is aware of. One of these days to celebrate something or someone which started somewhere for a reason. The say-something-nice-day started in Charleston, South Carolina, USA to create a day of awareness that bullying and speaking badly about others has taken too much space in our society and we have to make something to reduce that. Just reflect on your interactions

I watched a short interview by Simon Sinek this morning, speaking about monitoring our competitors and letting this fuel our insecurities. He explains how a competitor, or at least someone he sees as such, made him feel inferior, whenever he fell into the pattern of comparing him to himself. Well, isn’t that exactly what we keep on doing all our lives. Be it in sports, practicing a hobby or looking into the mirror. We compare ourselves to someone else or to a standard other p

So many times, we find ourselves in the situation, that we do not agree with someone else upon a topic, upon specific rules or just on anything. That is when the communication starts going south and an annoying situation is being created with another person, which cannot and shouldn't be ignored. This is what is called a conflict. When a conflict arises, we have several choices: · We can either simply accept it, · avoid it, or · deal with it and work on it. The latter is the

I haven’t posted an article in a while… So many things were happening around me. Good and bad things. Our 2020 world still is upside down and life is everything else but normal. Those who claimed to have adapted the “new normal” along the past few month, start realizing that it wasn’t normal in the end and we still miss some things we have lost along the way. I don't mean to do a review on this year, as frankly the year 2020 can just go and it’s ok to never look back on it. I

Although we are all different and have different levels of self-confidence, there are a lot of things that we find embarrassing. For some it’s being seen naked, for others being found out that they are not able to do something and yet for others it is the little things that happen all day, like burping in a restaurant or spilling food on your shirt. For all it is to be seen in some kind of way, that was not meant to be, an unwanted attention to private matters or personal fla

Today I received an email from a very dear student of mine, thanking me for my empathy and listening to her in troubled times. Her words were flattering, came from the heart and moved me. She sent me this poem, which is attributed to be from Charlie Chaplin at his 70’th birthday. No matter if it is, or not, it expresses in way better words, I could ever find, the way this year 2020 has transformed me. Here it goes: “As I began to love myself, I found that anguish and emotiona

We have to give feedback to the ones we work with and the ones we live with all the time. At least we should. As all of us have been on the receiving end of feedback, we know how bad this sometimes is prepared and given. Not many do seem to have the right skillset to do that. So, we end up receiving badly conducted feedback, which will most definitely demotivate us, instead of motivating us to change our behavior. If we turn the perspective and put ourselves on the sending si

For today’s post I had to borrow some words from the amazingly talented Bruno Mars. Although Bruno sings it to his significant other, he is trying to convince her that she is amazing, just the way she is. Would she accept it? Most probably not. Why is it so hard for us to accept that we are amazing, just the way we are? We are all different from all other people. Which is a good thing, isn’t it? We have our very own style, do dress, to walk, to speak, to do whatever we do. We

Lately I have been reading so many articles and posts on all social media platforms, about how amazing the “new normal” is how we can work and meet online these days. The articles point out how much more efficient online meetings are and how much time and money we save by meeting and conferencing through zoom, teams etc. I want to agree with all of the authors of these posts and say YES it’s amazing, that we can do that. It is a positive aspect of this horrific crisis, that i

There is one thing that is important for any meeting or event. Be it online, offline or hybrid. That one thing is the moderation or facilitation. To put it in other words, there is no gathering of people in whatever way, that would not benefit from a good and skilled moderation or facilitation. The moderator/facilitator is the one holding the strings, setting the tone, controlling the time, working towards the solutions, avoiding misunderstandings and offering structure. All

Step by step meetings and events are finding their way back into our daily work life. Some of us are actually going to the office again, others are working remotely. Meetings and events are mostly still happening online. But thankfully they are happening again. I can’t stress out enough, how important the communication is. I think the Corona times have finally shown everyone in any industry that meetings and events are not only the place where people gather to have a chat, a

The other day I was at a dating evening. One of those, where single people meet to get to know other people and maybe find common interests. Being a single it is my interest not to stay that forever and maybe one day find my significant other somewhere. By swiping left and right I don't see that happening for me. I definitely prefer the real face-to-face version to see if attraction is there. But real interaction beyond swiping is complicated. As in any occasion, where people

I have received a lot of positive feedback on my post about turning negative self-talk into positive from a couple of weeks ago. This is a topic a lot of people can relate to in these very challenging times. We can see an increase of emotionally stressed people struggling to overcome all the problems that the crisis has caused. We are already seeing the negative impact on relationships, be it private or business and an increase of stress and depression, caused by fear, loneli

Honesty is one of the most important characteristics I have found in business and life! It sets the tone for your work culture, builds loyalty and trust from your employees and customers and gives you the fundamental basis for a long-lasting authentic relationship with other human beings. I have been in different companies and have worked with a lot of different people in my life. Different people have different work ethics and different values. And that is a good thing, as I

I have been giving lectures recently to students of meetings & events, that were preparing for their final exam. Scary time! Although they had studied so hard and learned so much over the last couple of years, working within the industry alongside their study, they felt they were not well prepared for the exam. They thought they would screw up, when confronted with the situation they had to perform. Don't we all feel like this again and again in our lives? It doesn't have to

We all need motivation to be able to fulfil a task and achieve big goals. Sometimes we can’t seem to start what we had planned to do and so we end up postponing, or not doing it at all. But what is this mysterious power, that helps us achieve our goals or fail even trying? And how do we get it? Motivation is described as the general willingness to do something. Psychologists tell us there are two main types of motivation. Intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation. They di