- Héctor A. Venegas
Yesterday I participated at an online event, where me and other amazing speakers spoke about the power of asking. That is not me saying that I am amazing, but… if you say so…thank you 😊
We elaborated on the way people ask or how they don't, if there are some circumstances holding them back.
Questions are a very important tool, to
· get information
· achieve knowledge
· understanding others
· creating amazing ideas
Fact is, questions are a fundamental part of any communication!
We all know how children ask so many questions, that it sometimes can be annoying for parents.
There are several studies, that state, that a 3-year-old child asks something between 100 and 300 questions a day. That is a huge amount.
In school we are told to participate, but we are also told not to ask stupid questions.
But who defines, what a “stupid” question or an “unnecessary” one is?
If you ask me, I would say there is no such thing. The question might seem “stupid” or “unnecessary” to you at the time, but for the one asking it, it was not!
So be it by the parents or be it in school, children learn to stop asking, because they are confronted with annoyed reactions, which make them stop or rethink their way of asking.
In work life questioning can even be regarded as
· lack of control
Some questions could even make other people feel uncomfortable, as the answer might lead to something they don't want to deal with.
Therefore, grown-ups tend not to ask the questions, that they should have asked.
In workshops I see that all the time.
Participants are hesitant to ask the questions that need to be asked.
An open minded atmosphere has to be created in order to change that.
Questioning is a powerful tool to find solutions and create amazing ideas.
In psychotherapy and coaching, questions are used to support people to open up their minds and rethink their state of mind and to come up with good solutions for their challenges and problems.
The old Greek philosopher Socrates believed that thoughtful questioning would lead to great solutions and ideas.
The “Socratic questioning” is a very powerful tool, coaches around the world use for supporting their coachees to work on their solutions.
These are questions that
· seek understanding
· challenge assumptions
· examine evidence
· consider alternatives
· consider consequences or
· offer a view from the meta level
· “is that always the case?”
· “what would happen if…?”
· “what evidence is there, that supports…?”
· “what is the other side of the argument?”
· “what if you are wrong?”
· “why do you think I asked that question?”
…give the coachee the possibility to think out of the box and to get new thoughts, which help him/her to find a new viewpoint.
Asking the right question opens up the possibility to get a new perspective to thoughts which were stuck in one corner.
Any solution finding, any workshop, any coaching, any communication… everyone can benefit from that.
Like all the skills we have reduced, this is one we have to practice over and over again, to regain it and to master it, for it to have a positive impact on our lives.
So, let’s start asking the questions.
They will be the right ones!
Try it! You will see how it works!
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